Thoroughly Discouraged

Wednesday is no go. Apparently you need to be 41 weeks if you are a first time mom before they will induce you. Real nice......

Wednesday?

Well..so much for Monday. I just got back from my appointment and sadly, they weren't able to strip my membranes. The nurse practitioner couldn't reach my cervix enough to do it. My body is turning against me, I think. But I spoke to her about induction and I may be able to be induced Wednesday. She needed to talk to the doctor on call to be sure, but she thought I'd do well because my cervix is so thin. So, she said not to make another appointment and she'd give me a call to let me know the final decision. If I can't be induced Wednesday then I'll just sit back and wait my turn I guess. In other news....Christmas was very nice. Kade and I enjoyed our last Christmas alone together. Since we had Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve with my family, we spent the whole day with Kade's family on Christmas. I wasn't feeling very well that day so I got pretty overwhelmed when the whole family showed up. But it was still nice to see everyone one last time (hopefully) before little guy comes. That is..if he ever comes. I finished the nursery completely today. It felt good to be done with it. One step closer. I hope that you all had very nice holidays. Enjoy the new year. We'll keep you posted on any developments...or lack thereof.

Monday...

Monday, Monday, Monday. That is my new mantra. The doctor agreed to strip my membranes Monday. MONDAY, MONDAY, MONDAY!! Oh friends, what good news that was to me. Now lets all cross our fingers that little Easton will cooperate with our plans and come to meet us all. I'm still sitting at one centimeter and 70% effaced. Thats okay. It's not zero. And it doesn't determine anything anyway. But his head is engaged and he's all ready to go. Now to get him here. That is the hard part I'm afraid. But either way, my due date is only 15 days away. AND you know what? It's Christmas Eve Eve so all is right in the world. I hope you all have wonderful holidays. Hopefully the next post is complete with photos of our new little man. OH PLEASE! MONDAY!!!!

One

Good news! I'm one centimeter dialated and 70% effaced. Wahoo! We're really getting there now. :) Kade and I are really ready. The baby showers are over. The nursery is ready. All we need is our little man. Oh dear...when will he come?

Mary

I've been thinking a lot today about the true meaning of Christmas, but more specifically, I've been thinking about Mary. I am so grateful for her example of motherhood. I can't imagine what it must have been like for her. She had to endure endless persecution for carrying a child that was not her husband's. She had to travel great distances on foot in the final days of her pregnancy. She had to endure the worry and grief it must have given her to be turned away when looking for a place to stay and birth her child. Never mind the immense pressure and responsibility put on her to carry and care for the Son of God. All these things she did. And of course the Lord rewarded her. She held and kissed and loved the infant Christ. What would it have been like to know that you held the Son of God in your arms and gazed into his eyes? To watch Him reach his first milestones? To know that our Heavenly Parents and Their Son depended upon you and your skills as a mother to give the Savior everything he would need to survive and succeed on this earth? She is an amazing woman. What an example she is to me! She must have lived her life greatly even before motherhood or the Lord would never have trusted her with such a great responsibility. I can't wait to hold my own infant son in my arms and understand the joy she felt that night in Bethlehem. I am honored that the Lord would trust Kade and I with one of His children. I doubt that I could measure up to Mary, but I will try my hardest to be the best mother I can for Easton. This Christmas, as we reflect on the birth of our Savior, don't forget to remember Mary and her profound sacrifices. Merry Christmas.

My pregnancy soapbox

I don't know if you are all watching the baby ticker still...but if you are you'll know that it says 34 days today. YIKES!!! Where has the year gone, my friends? Today we had an appointment and an ultrasound to check on our little guy's growth. Good news! He's just fine. He weighing in at almost six pounds already and measuring at 35 weeks 3 days. Yay! Go Easton! The funny part is that my belly is still measuring at 30 centimeters like last time. I should be at 35. No wonder my back hurts so badly. He's camped on my spine. I forgive him. I've decided that he is every bit as uncomfortable as I am. It can't be fun to be all squished up inside me either. He's still very, very active and has begun to drop. The drop has caused some unpleasant side-effects I never knew about. I've been very nauseated, dizzy, and my back feels like it's about to snap, but my doctor assured me that it's my body's natural reaction to the pressure. Anyhow, with that, I'm just going to take one second and get up on my box. I've been very offended lately by people who seem to think that it is their place to judge me or others who don't particularly enjoy pregnancy. I am very grateful to have been given this opportunity, even though it is not what I had anticipated it to be. Kade and I tried very hard for 9 months to get pregnant, and I do not regret our decision. I am extremely happy that Easton is growing inside of me, even when pregnancy is making me somewhat miserable. Pregnancy is different for every woman because we all have different bodies and builds. It obviously will be less enjoyable for some and more enjoyable for others. Even though I am hoping he will come a little early, it is not solely because I would like to have my body back. It is for many, many reasons. If you would like to find out those reasons, please feel free to ask before you make assumptions. And of course, I would never want him to come a minute early at the expense of his own health. I assure you that I am not that selfish. I would share my body with him for as long as he needed to be a healthy, normal baby. I don't think that there is anything wrong with not being in love with the whole experience of pregnancy. Good for you, if you are. That really is a blessing and a talent. But please, don't judge me and make me feel badly because I don't enjoy elastic pants, nausea, sore ribs, and swollen ankles. But I am grateful to the Lord for trusting me with such a responsibility, and despite what some think, I do thank Him daily for giving me such a miracle. I already love my son more than I can express and I can't wait to meet him. I already know he is one amazing little guy. I'm not ashamed to say that I would rather hold him in my arms than in my belly. Get over it.

A farewell

What a week we've had!First, we said goodbye to a close friend. That's right...Jack has moved on. We adopted him to a new family. We'd been having a lot of trouble with him lately. He really took the cake though on last Wednesday when he decided that our kitchen floor needed some help. So instead of peeing on it like he usually would...he just tore it up and ate it. So...we decided that he was too much maintenance for us, especially with Easton coming so soon. Kade took him to his new family on Friday. Now he'll have more room to run and children and another dog to play with. I'm sure he'll be very happy. Anyhow,Kade had his birthday on Thursday too. The big 2-4. He's feeling quite old I think. We went out to dinner at the Maddox and relaxed the rest of the night. It was nothing too exciting, but Thursdays usually aren't. Yesterday I had my first baby shower. Big thanks to Kade's mom, sister, and cousin for that! It was spectacular! We felt very spoiled after. However, even though his closet is full and we are more prepared, I'm still pretty anxious for our little guy to come. But the excitement also fills the house!Just 45 more days! The nursery is coming along nicely, and I have two more days off to work on it. Also, I am positive that my belly has grown. Easton must be growing just fine! And he has been exceptionally active this week. Well, I hope that everyone has a terrific Thanksgiving. I KNOW I WILL!!!

This week

Today we had another doctor appointment. Dr. Craig says baby looks fine and feels like he is sitting head down (yay!). The only bad news is that I'm still measuring small. I should be measuring at 33 centimeters and I'm only measuring at 30. Uh oh. So we're going to have another ultrasound before our next appointment just to make sure that he is growing the right amount. Dr. Craig and I both suppose that everything is fine. Easton likes to hang out in my ribs so he's probably just hiding up there growing away. My weight gain is still on track and after next time we should start going weekly to the doctor. It's crunch time! So Kade and I are going to be working extra hard on getting the nursery in line and ready for little man to come. My first shower is this weekend and I'm really excited to visit with everyone. The gifts won't be bad either! We'll be down to seven weeks on Wednesday. Yikes! We had lamaze class today too. I'm really enjoying the classes. I hope that they prove to be helpful. Tonight we learned breathing patterns. Ah hee ah hee ah hee ah hoo. And don't you forget it! Oh and I also want to say that whoever voted on the poll that I'll have Easton Jan. 11-17 is a real big meanie. Just kidding....kinda.

Nerves

Finally...I'm nervous. This whole time I've just been breezing through this pregnancy without a single nervous bone in my body. Well..the nerves have shown up and I think they're trying to make up for me having an easy 8 months. It just hit me in the last few days that I am actually going to have a child. I love babies and kids, but I've never had one that I didn't send home with my sister after a few hours. Scary. And I'm feeling a little sad today that it won't just be me and Kade anymore. I am still very excited for little Easton to come, but I'll miss having Kade all to myself sometimes. I have the greatest husband in all the world. I hope that we can still find quiet moments to sit together and be silly. I think he deserves a medal or something...he's a good sport for putting up with me. He'll be a very good dad. AND he did such a great job at our lamaze class last night. He is going to be an awesome labor coach. Last night we learned some basic massage and relaxation techniques. It was actually physically exhausting for me and I was very sore when the class was over. I'm still not nervous for labor. That's a good thing, I guess. I am nervous for early labor though. Only because we are not ready for Easton to come. 8 more weeks, folks. I am feeling a bit in over my head.

Family photos

Okay, first of all-- where the heck did November come from? Didn't October just start? Time is flying by right now. That's a fact I only too grateful for. Just 9 more weeks folks! And you better have your fingers crossed for 8!!! Halloween was really fun this year. Kade went as Elvis and I went as a beauty queen (Miss Conception, of course. Thanks for the idea, Karissa!)

We also had another doctor appointment. Nothing big to report there. I'm measuring a slight amount smaller than I ought to be, but we're not concerned. Also, we've signed up for lamaze class and I am simply giddy about it. I can't wait! We took family photos last weekend and I can't wait to share them with all of you! My friend, Christy, is starting up her own photography business so we had her take the pictures for us. She was simply divine. The pictures were wonderful, and I would recommend her to anyone looking to have pictures taken. You can check her out at Christymariephotography.blogspot.com and I think you'll agree with me.

I am getting very excited for Thanksgiving. We're spending it with my mom's side of the family, and I'm really grateful to be able to see everyone before baby comes. Not to mention eating all that fantastic food. Pregnant lady paradise is what it is. Let's just hope the time keeps flying by until then.

Promises

Here are the pictures I've been promising for a million months. Blogger is being weird so I can't tell you which picture is which, but there are some from our hotel room on our anniversary, flying kites/planes, our haunted gingerbread house, carving pumpkins, and a few adventures of the mischevious Mr. Jack...Good luck. No news, except that we are now doing bimonthly appointments!! WOOT! We're getting closer by the minute.

Baby Ticker

Here is my new baby ticker. Now you can all count down with and see the changes that our little man is going through! Enjoy!

October arrives!

Okay...so I suck at blogging. I know it. You know it. Now we can move on. I have had a post drafted for some time, but I STILL don't have any pictures of my baby belly. Kade went to take some for me one night, and the batteries in the camera died! And wouldn't you know that I didn't have a single good battery in the house. I do have some of our anniversary and of Jack's adventures that I will post this week on my days off. So...sorry. No pics this time. I'm posting from work or I would just post them now. On with it.... Oh, how I love fall!! October is my favorite month. I love the leaves, the weather, the holidays, everything!!! The end of September wasn't bad either. Kade and I celebrated our second anniversary on the 29th. We decided that this year we would make a big deal about it since it's our last child-free anniversary. We got ourselves a room at the Anniversary Inn on Sunday night and both took Monday off to play and relax. Our room was wonderful. We stayed in the Player's Clubhouse. It has a foosball table and a putting green. My favorite part was the heart-shaped jetted tub. I made Kade promise to buy me one some day. We went to the movies and to dinner. We even bought kites and goofed off at the park for a while. It was a really great anniversary. We're almost all settled into our house. Things are definitely coming together. Easton is still doing well. Kicking away in there. Making me crazy. Love him to pieces. This Wednesday is the first day of my last trimester. Can you believe that? I feel like it's going so slowly, but actually the weeks are flying by. Now I only have about 12 weeks left. I remember when I was only 13 weeks along!! And actually, if Easton comes a week early like Kade and I are hoping, then I only have 11 weeks left. YIKES!! We better get to work on that nursery. I'm starting to feel the anxiety of preparing to be a mom....and preparing Kade to be a dad. I've been talking with a few of my friends who are new moms. It makes me feel good to talk to them, but it also makes me realize how much work we're in for. I don't have a lot more to say. Kade and I are still busy working, working, working all the live long day. But we are very happy and doing well. I guess you can't ask for more! I have an appointment this Thursday so I'll post then and let you all know how that went. Stay tuned folks! Also-- My showers are coming up, so if you'd like an invite to one of them, then please post your address on here for me so I can get you one! Love ya'll!

I'm still alive

It was called to my attention that people may think I have dropped off the face of the earth. Kade and I have been SO busy. We are officially homeowners now, and are still getting settled in our new house. We LOVE it. Once we got the painting done, we were feeling very good about moving. I know I keep promising pictures, and you're just gonna have to hear it again. I'll get some pictures up of my belly, the house, and Jack really soon. There's not much new on the baby front. He's incredibly active and I have decided that there is nothing cooler than feeling a baby move inside your tummy. It's amazing. Except for those few times where it makes you go "Whoa. There is a body inside me." I had a doctor appt. this week too. It went really well. Have a mentioned how much I really love my doctor?? I am seeing Dr. Kristen Craig at the Budge Clinic, and I have adored her. She got called to a delivery before my appt. but made sure she stayed long enough to see me so I wouldn't have to wait. I was so grateful. I had to take that dreadful, awful, disgusting glucose test this time. I don't think I will desire orange soda for a long, long time now. And next time I have to get a shot in my bum! WHAT!?!?!?! Who decided that butts were a good place to stick a needle anyway? I would like to meet them....and stick them in the butt. Oh well. All in the name of motherhood. I also had a very good month for weight gain....8 pounds baby. I was shocked...and a little appalled. But only until Dr. Craig told me to expect a jump in this month's and next month's weight. Doesn't make me feel all the way better about gaining that much at once, but again, I'll do it for Easton. I do believe that's it for me this week folks. I'll try to think of new, funny things to write and I WILL get some pictures up very soon. I promise.

The moody blues

Ugh. Where in the world has sane Nikki gone? If you find her...let me know. The hormones have completely taken over my brain. I've turned into the dreaded psycho chick (sorry to those of you who have met her.) I have been so disoriented lately with this new body. Laughing, then crying, then laughing about crying, then crying again. I've never been a person who dealt particularly well with stress or anxiety even though I seem to be prone to it. And stress is psycho chick's best friend. Hunger is her second best friend. If you happen to catch me when I'm stressed or hungry or worst of all stressed and hungry-- let me formally apologize to you here. I am deeply sorry. I will probably be mean. Snappy remarks and rude comments flow out like word vomit from psycho chick. Then she'll realize she's mean and she'll cry. All in all- she's not a fun person to be around. Therefore, I am not a fun person to be around most the time anymore. Again, sorry guys. May sound like an excuse, but I really can't control it. Hopefully you all get to see me on days where my tummy is full, I am fully rested, and have not had a rough night at work. Today was not one of those days. I went to Salt Lake today to visit Tiffany and her family and I feel like I should have stayed home, because psycho chick refused to be left behind. I got up for work today at 5 am which of course exhausted me so I was no fun. Then I let myself get too hungry, said mean things to Kade, hurt his feelings, stressed myself out because I was mean to my dear husband, word vomited A LOT, and mostly ruined everyone's time I think. I've discovered that I'm starving most the time and even when I eat til there is no room left in my belly, I am still hungry. Two hours later and I'll be ravenous and word vomiting all over the place. Completely hopeless. However, ladies, if you're at this point in your pregnancy (21 weeks) I don't think that you're allowed to throw yourself pity parties about how rough you think you've got it. Trust me--you're the only one who will show up. The men will roll their eyes and the women will kindly remind you that it's going to get much worse. Suck it up, soldier. You might secretly (or openly, like me) wish you had your body back, but then your little baby will nudge you from inside to say he/she loves you and it will put you on the world's worst guilt trip. Probably, you'll cry. Atleast, this is what my experience has been. Party over. Moving on.

I sincerely tried to put up the good pictures of the baby, but I can't figure out how to work the scanner at Mom and Dad's so it'll have to wait. We'll probably be closing on the condo in less than a week (crossies!!) and I can put them up then. I would just like to share one more experience I had this week..promise this one is more light-hearted. Some may think this next story is too much for the blog, but I completely enjoy it. So-- lately wearing a bra has become a death sentence in the morning. Ugh. SO not comfy. My old bras still fit me just fine (luckily) but they are just so darn uncomfortable. So off I go in search of the bra that won't make me miserable. First I go to K-mart and ALAS! I find exactly what I was looking for. Wait...nope. My size is impossible to find. So I leave that store feeling a little down-trodden and disgruntled, but I'm not ready to give up. A couple days later, Mom braves Shop-Ko with me on the hunt again. And Ah!! Look! There it is! And it's just my size....except it's hot pink and has underwire which I didn't want. So...keep looking. We searched and searched and the only thing bras that had the features I wanted (wide straps, seamless, no underwire, etc.) were those awful 18 hour bras in boxes. Mom finds one that will fit and I look it over. Wow. It's like body armor. Those things are so ridiculously huge that they look like vests. I don't particularly want to "suit up" in the mornings so I passed it up and went back to look at the normal bras. I found one with wide straps that was seamless and a normal color. They had my size. It's only downfall is the underwire. However, what I learned is that all bras my size have underwire (unless it's a vest). Psh...land of the free? Yeah, right! Only if you're not a D! Otherwise the companies think they have the right to tack iron rods under your boobs like some sick joke. Jerks. Oh well. So, here I sit. All wired up, but actually much more comfortable than before. Maybe one day I'll swallow my pride and just wear the stupid, ugly vest.

Downhill journey

Well folks, first off, let me apologize for dropping off the face of the planet last week. Kade and I had a very, very busy week moving out of our apartment, and I had zero energy for blog-land. BUT- we have reached week twenty and it's downhill from here! Hooray! Last week's appointment was a success! I finally gained five pounds (go me!) and we also found out what had been causing the very disturbing mystery pain on my left side. I have pulled the left side of my round ligament. Boy, is that painful. It was a relief to know that that's all it was. I started icing it for the pain and it seemed to help until the worrier inside told me I was freezing my baby's brain. Yes, ridiculous-- but mom's worry a lot. The ultrasound showed that baby is doing exceptionally well. Kade left the good pictures at work, so I'll post them as soon as possible. Baby was right on track for size and weighs 11 ounces!! That's about the weight of a can of pop. What a little hard worker! I'm so proud! The heart, brain, and spine are looking perfect and there are no signs of cleft lip. Also, baby was very active and already sitting head down. I have gotten to feel the wiggles a lot more lately :) We also found what we've all been waiting for. The sex! I'm happy to say that Kade and my hopes were confirmed! It's a beautiful, wonderful, perfect little man!! YAY! Now the real fun can start. Of course, like all new parents, we had to go out and buy a few outfits just to please ourselves. The real name game has started and the name of the day is Easton Maddox....stay tuned. We'll see if I like it next week still. We also are looking for cribs and crib sets now so we can pick the nursery colors and get painting! If only Kade and I could agree on whether or not to do jungle theme or sport's theme...(go monkeys!) We are staying at my mom and dad's house and I have to say we are NOT hurting. Mom is so wonderful. She makes me dinner and keeps me company. However, we will be very grateful to have our own home ready to move into. We're still working on getting the loan stuff closed up so we can get to work with the paint. All in all it's been a pretty good week. One more down.....twenty to go.

The house

Well, that's it. I'm a real grown up now. We bought a house. Well..a condo anyway. It's in the blackhawk subdivision for those of you who know where that is. It's all very fast, but we love it and are very happy with our decision. We have to move out of our apartment by the 22nd now...which is just about nuts. So we'll be staying with mom and pop for a few weeks while we get all the paperwork settled and painting done that I decide to do. I'll post some pictures when I have them. Anyway....we have made it to week 19. Almost half done. We just have 6 more days until we find out the sex of the little bambino. However, I did have a dream last night that it was a girl (named Emma Lois...uck!) ...A sign, maybe?

Stretchy pants are awful

Today I went shopping at Kohl's and decided it was time to check out the maternity section. None of my pants fit me anymore, and I also discovered today that not one of my skirts can be done up so I guess I'll be wearing the same two dresses for the next 6 months to church. I've mentioned before my feelings on maternity pants with the big stretchy tummy part. UGH. Mortifying. But I decided to be brave and try a pair on today. I thought that maybe once I had them on I would fall in love with them and vow to never wear pants without elastic again. Nope. I was wrong. I took one look at myself in the mirror and knew I could never pay $50 to look that way. So I'm looking into alternative options. Kade was slightly less than helpful with his comments (he's clueless.) I don't even remember what he said exactly. I only know that by the time we left the store I had sworn not to go pants shopping with him again. Perhaps I was just in an especially sensitive and foul mood. Later, we went to visit Jack at his "foster parents" home. Kade's parents have been more than generous by taking him while we sort out our housing situation. I was so amazed at how much he had grown in a week. I guess it's the same way with little babies, so I'd better get over it. Speaking of housing, I've been looking at apartments the last week or so and I have been absolutely disgusted by the places that allow pets. Of course, they all REEK of pee, and are just generally run down. After looking at one particularly disappointing place, I decided to heck with renting. We're going to just buy a townhouse instead. It will end up costing more, but hey, it's OURS. So Kade is going to get a second job to help out since he's taking a semester off school and I'm sure it will all work out. It's more than a little nerve-wracking to get a mortgage, but we're both tired of throwing our money away on rent and moving from place to place. Tomorrow we're going to speak with the bank about our financing options and etc. Wish us luck.

Summer winds down

August has become one of my favorite months. I know we're only a little bit into it, but it has been a nice month so far. Last weekend, Kade and I drove up for my Aunt Bea's 50th birthday party in Blackfoot. I really love getting to see all of my family :) Tiffany even drove all the way up and stayed for the weekend with her Little Man. He's the cutest little boy I ever saw. Maybe he'll have some competition come January.We have just about a week and half until we find out the sex. Anticipation is thick at the Gardner house. I'm pretty sure that I can feel the baby moving....but it's hard to be sure. Perhaps I'm making something out of nothing. I was finally able to pull my head out of the new and final book in the Twilight series last night. I savored every page. It was wonderful, by the way. This week, Kade and I are working at the Cache County Fair to earn a little extra dough and help out his mom. If it weren't so hot, I'd love it. Even with the heat, it's pretty fun to be down there. I inherited a love for "people-watching" from my mom, and the fair is a pot of gold for weirdos wandering about. It's highly entertaining. We're still looking for a new place to live and still working to get our current place rented out. Finding an affordable place where we can keep Jack is proving to be more of a hassle than we had hoped. Perhaps our move will only allow us to keep Jack, and not save money as we had intended. But he's worth it. I'll get a part-time job if I have to.

Uprooted..again

Looks like the Gardner family is moving...again. We've only been in our apartment for 3 months, but Kade and I have decided to jump ship to save money and have a place that allows Jack. So, we are currently looking for a Jack-sitter. Any volunteers? It's gonna be a really huge hassle for me to move all of the dog stuff into hiding every time we have to show our apartment. Anyhow, Jack is doing very well with us. He's caught on so quickly to potty training and sleeping through the night. What a wonderful little dog. My very favorite thing is how dang excited he gets when one of us comes home. He wags his little bum and jumps all over, and it's just so darn cute you can't be grumpy after work. No news on the bambino this week. I'm DYING to feel the baby move, but I'm getting no cooperation. But I just found out that my closest cousin in age is going to have a baby boy this December. I'm very, very excited for him. Well, folks I wish I had more to give ya, but I'm all out of interesting things to say.

Here's Jack getting his first bath. He wasn't so fond of it, but he looked adorable.

Jack hiking with Kade.

Our new addition

Kade and I would like to introduce the newest member of our family! His name is Jack! He's border collie and cocker spaniel...and yes, the physics of that breed are mind-boggling. I especially love the freckles on his nose. What a babe.

He has been such an adventure for us and really is helping us to prepare for the baby. He gets me up atleast once a night and needs constant attention while he's being potty-trained. Just don't tell the landlord. :) Kade's cousin brought the puppies to Bear Lake while we were up there and we fell in love with him. He's mellow and sweet.

Kade and I had a great time relaxing at his family's cabin in Bear Lake. I got the sunburn of a lifetime, but we still managed to have a good time. We spent time at the lake, four-wheeling, eating delicious food, etc. Monday night my sisters and I went to the John Mayer concert and LOVED it.
That's John there in the white shirt jamming away. What a beautiful rock star.


Colbie Caillat opened for him and she was also fantastic. She's the one in the white shirt. She has the most beautiful voice. It was nice to see both of my sisters and relax for one more night before I had to go back to work.
Yesterday I got to go to the doctor again. We heard the baby's heartbeat and Dr. Craig said that baby seems to be growing right and that I'm just the right size. I was SHOCKED to find out that I still haven't gained any weight. My doctor told me not to worry, so I guess I won't. We also got to schedule our ultrasound for Aug. 19th :) We'll finally know the sex for sure! I have started getting a lot of comments about my belly. I'm not quite sure how to take them. I suppose they're meant well. I've recently been told I was "losing my figure", I'm looking "calvey" (like a pregnant cow would), I have a chubby belly, and one person said they couldn't imagine what I would look like by January.....Nice....As much as I love my new belly, comments like that make me sort of insecure. I don't feel like I'm huge or that I'm showing too much. Oh well. Going back to work was slightly less than joyful. I feel like lately my patients eat me alive (no pun intended) and yell at me about things I can't control all night. Again, oh well. Such is life.

The bump

Ahh...the bump. My baby belly is showing now. Except, the thing I really don't enjoy about baby bumps is the fact that if people don't know you're pregnant you just look sorta fat. People might just think I've let myself go. I'm in a really frustrating stage where my clothes don't quite fit me anymore, but I'm too small (and prideful) to start wearing stretching maternity pants. Anyhow, I'm in my second trimester now which is very nice. Baby is the size of a lemon this week and I still marvel at the fact that I can't feel a lemon-sized person moving around in me. Not a lot has changed for me with the beginning of a new trimester. Except for the fact that I now frequently get headaches which really annoy me. I'm getting a little antsy for the fun parts of pregnancy to come. Enough with the sickness. Let's move on, body, shall we? Anyway, I know this is a short post, but I'm in one of those moods where you're so awfully ornery that you can't even stand to be around yourself. I'm struggling to think of anything positive. I'll be on vacation for a little while without internet access so I'll post again after my appt. on the 22nd. Happy July.

I just remembered another thing that I have been meaning to post about. Hopefully someone will have ideas about how to make my biggest problem go away. I keep having the most horrible nightmares. Usually they involve me trying to not get shot point blank in the head. Last night, I woke Kade and myself up screaming "NO!" in my sleep. I had a nightmare that someone snuck up on me in the dark and grabbed me. It doesn't sound that scary now, but it really was terrifying. I can only take so many more gun dreams and nightmares. Any ideas?

Days off are a beautiful thing

AHHHH......How I LOVE having days off. I've had the last three days off and it has been a wonderful, wonderful thing. The Fourth is my supreme favorite holiday. I was feeling so fortunate to have it off, considering my job includes working Thanksgiving and Christmas. On Wednesday I loaded up my sister, Lindsay's, two beautiful daughters and carted them out to Hyrum to watch the fireworks with Kade and Grandpa. I hardly saw any of the show because I too fascinated by their cute faces and was snapping away with the camera.

Dad and the girls waiting for the fireworks. Ashlyn is too quick for the camera.

I think this is the sweetest picture. :)
CHEESE!!!

If you look close, you can see that Makenzy's mouth is hanging wide open. This was right when the fireworks started.

Makenzy's face is PERFECT in this one.

Thursday night we went to Logan's fireworks with Kade's family. It was our niece Brynlee's 2nd birthday too. Happy Day!!! She is the most adorable little thing. We didn't get as many pictures that night and unfortunately Uncle Kade forgot to bring the camera to her birthday party today. We also went to the pool with Mistie, Nick, and Brynlee on Thursday. I wish I had pictures of her going down the slide with Uncle Kade. She loved it!
She didn't seem as sure about the fireworks that night. She was probably pretty tired and they were a lot bigger and louder than the ones Makenzy and Ashlyn went to see with us. She still "Wow"ed in all the right places and seemed content. She's so cute. :)
However, there is no new news on the baby front. I've decided to leak information about the names on the list for lack of better information for you all. The girl name is 100% positive. Kadynce Marie (First name after her daddy and middle name after my mom's). I think it's so beautiful that we half hope it is a little Kady :) The names for a son change weekly, if not daily. The list include thus far: Brooks, Cohl, Carson, Camden, and Brennen. I also love Max :) So you'll have to stay tuned if it is our little baseball player in there. Feel free to let us know which ones are your favorites and maybe we can narrow it down.

Who do you listen to?

So I've been miserably sick this week with what I believe is a sinus infection from my terrible allergies. I cough, I sneeze, I can't breathe, I can't sleep. Awful. I'm starting to get very frustrated. Saturday I went to the store and stood in front of the allergy medications and decongestants for about twenty minutes reading all the labels and wondering which were safe and which weren't. I decided to call my sisters (who were wonderful) and do some research of my own online. What I've learned is that everyone has something different to say about what's safe to do when you're pregnant. My doctor told me that most over-the-counter medicines were safe. MOST. Not all. Of course, I assume I'll pick out the one that isn't approved. One website says a medicine is safe, another says don't take it. Other mommy's doctors have said don't take anything in the first trimester. Another says take Benedryl. Another says take Actifed. Who do you listen to? Of course, no (good) mom wants to take something or do something that will harm her baby. So here I am. I took Tiffany's advice and stuck with the Sudafed. I've decided to use a nasal spray as well. Hopefully, the combo will make a difference for me and make no difference for baby. But most of all I really hope that I figure out who is actually right in all this business.

The exclusive first look at the Gardner baby

Well...my mind is finally at ease!! Today we had another appointment with our doctor and our first ultrasound. It was so reassuring to hear the heartbeat and see our little bug in real time. We even got to watch the baby wiggle around in 4D. The doctor said that baby is looking perfectly normal and healthy so far. There are no words to describe what it's like to see the baby on the screen and know that it's actually inside of me! I'm so amazed at the fantastic work my body and baby are doing right now. Baby is just the right size and she even took a guess at the sex.... I think I might hold you all in suspense and not post it on here until we know one hundred percent. Feel free to make guesses from the pictures, but remember I'm only 12 weeks so it's anyone's game. I'm feeling more like myself every day and I'm really looking forward to the coveted second trimester. I've even developed a bit of a baby bump. I was also happy to discover that I haven't had any weight gain yet (which is actually an okay deal at this point.)



Can you tell what the sex is???

Week 11

So, here we are. Eleven weeks down and 29 to go. However, the last week has brought some welcome changes. I'm starting to have more energy....finally! My eyes are still pretty heavy by about 8 pm but I'm much more able to function throughout the day. Now..if I could only sleep at night....Since being pregnant I am getting some really terrible nights of sleep. I wake up 3-4 times every night and it takes me 15 minutes at least to get back to sleep. Ah well, this too shall pass I'm sure. My nausea is improving also. It's funny how when you're in the first trimester you are actually alarmed by feeling well. I start to worry if I'm not really tired or nauseated before and after every meal. I laugh sometimes, because I actually feel relieved when something triggers my gag reflex. Those who know me best know that I am an anxious basket case most of the time. But, I'm finding that with each day that passes I breathe a little more easily knowing that baby is still in there. I can only hope that that means everything is going smoothly. The best new change is that time seems to be passing more quickly. It felt like the first weeks of knowing about our pregnancy dragged on and on. The ultrasound is just 6 days away now! Wahoo! I'll post again next week when we get our first peek at our little bug. :)

The first appointment

So- Kade and I went for our first doctor's appointment today. Basically, we don't know anything new! The baby is still pretty tiny so there was only a 50% chance that we could hear the heartbeat. Well, we were part of the unlucky 50% and the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat. So, we'll be going back in two weeks for our first ultrasound. I am really looking forward to having some proof that there is actually a little baby inside my tummy! It's frustrating to not know what's going on in there! I'll try to have a good attitude about it if the hormones will let me. My moods have been completely out of control. Say a prayer that Kade will still love me by the time the baby comes. I'm afraid I've not been a very fun person lately. However, the upside is that I really loved my doctor. She was very informative and kind. I'm looking forward to having her help us through the next 30 weeks. Also, she said that the morning sickness and nausea usually peak at 10 weeks so I should be over the hump soon. Lucky for me, I have only thrown up once so far! So, I'll just keep counting my blessings and trying to be a nice girl.

Here we go!

Hello, all! I'm jumping on the blog bandwagon to keep everyone informed about our crazy lives, happenings, and mostly our pregnancy and baby! I'll do my best to post all the fun new stuff that happens. Happy blogging!